Worst Military-Wife Ever

Yes, that is me...the worst military-wife ever. Why? Because I am not a big fan of the military life....not at all. I hate the lack of a 'normal' life. Being stable...no deployments, our choice of moving, not theirs. Jared has to move soon....so many places he can go. Do we wait for the military to pick our next place? If you know me, you know that's not okay with me. Special duty jobs avoid deployment....but we'd probably end up in Texas again...it wasn't our favorite place. Regular jobs will get him deployed. We've had such a lucky almost 10 years without this....chances aren't getting any better for avoiding a deployment. He'll probably get pushed to the top of the list for that one. Other choice, a job Jared would probably just hate. We'd get to pick where we moved, we'd get extra pay....we'd get no deployments.....but Jared would hate it...just hate it, we are sure. I'm horrible, because right now, that's the way I'd like to go....horrible horrible military wife. I should be okay, accepting of a deployment. I should know it's just part of the military life. Well, I don't want to be part of the military life! I want a normal life. I just want to live it, enjoy it. The kids....well, they do too. Devon isn't the happiest about the idea of moving. He's old enough he gets it now. It's hard...very hard. I'm not okay with deployment. I'm not okay with my husband gone for 6 months, leaving me to raise the kids, take care of everything, and be there when the kids are having a hard time because they don't get to see their dad. It's not right...it just isn't.